That’s what my gyno said to me last week after I told her, in tears, that I could not explain a now 20lb weight gain, seemingly overnight, despite healthy eating and working out with a trainer. I’m 47 years old with no history of weight issues. She followed up with “maybe you should look at your diet”. Bitch, please. I’m a pescatarian, ex-NYCer (ie terrified of carbs), non-sugar eating or soda drinking, generally active woman.
Perimenopause. Sexy, isnt it? When I turned 46 years old a year ago, I suddenly gained 15 pounds which felt like overnight – I could wear my jeans yesterday, absolutely no shot today. “Ok”, I thought, “I’ll just skip dinner a couple nights and pare back the wine intake and work out more”. That’s what’s worked my entire adult life. Didn’t work this time. As someone who’s been the same general size for most of their life, it was if I woke up in someone else’s body. Actually it felt like waking up one day and your significant other says “I dont love you anymore”. My body and I were now at war. Then I noticed my very thick hair had thinned at the temples. Seriously Body, what next?
My sister was seeing an endocrinologist and suggested I do the same. My thyroid wasn’t in terrible condition but needed a tune-up so the doctor suggested medication. Oh yay, THIS is the reason my body is different! I can not WAIT to feel like myself again. Months passed – nothing. I booked appointments with my general physican and gyno – they shrugged their shoulders and offered no solution. I cried as I walked to my car after those appointments, feeling defeated. I worked out with a personal trainer, added more cardio – nothing.
I’m in NYC often for work and when my work friends of twelve-ish years (almost all male) walked in the bar we were meeting in I could see the shock in their eyes at my weight gain. I decided not to meet up with friends anymore because I was ashamed. And granted, I am not obese by any stretch but a 15-20 lb weight gain on a petite woman is…noticeable.
Girlfriends were worse. Once in a Pret-A-Manger, my super-skinny friend announced the calories for each sandwich I picked up. Elsewhere I would disparage myself before the girls had the opportunity to. I suddenly empathized with anyone, no matter what size, with weight gain. My judginess had ended.
Months later I went to a new gyno, a female probably around the same age as me. I brought the results of a hormone test taken a year before which indicated I have low testosterone. That made sense, in my non-scientific estimation, because I used to be muscular and now I could not gain muscle from lifting weights and had more body fat then ever before. Her response was revolting, “There just aren’t enough studies about women in peri and menopause for us to determine a course of action. Years ago we recommended estrogen and that caused cancer. I could prescribe testosterone, but we don’t know the long term affects.” I left livid.
REALLY? Women going through menopause is a NEW thing? No one’s had the time to figure out how to relieve women of something that’s called “THE Change”? Somehow we figured out a solution for Erectile Dysfunction, I believe it was the fastest FDA-approved drug ever. Guess what men, if your wife/partner can’t have sex because it’s too painful due to menopause, then an ED solution is gonna backfire. Literally. I truly think if this was a male problem, a solution would have been discovered a long time ago. The fact that female doctors shrug their shoulders at our “female issues” is even more infuriating.
None of us are alone, we just don’t want to talk about it.
gettinoldaint4sissies 